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Hollow Kids: Recapturing the Soul of a Generation Lost to the Self-Esteem Myth
by Laura L. Phd Smith, Charles Elliott
Product Group: Book
Publisher: Prima Lifestyles (2001-08-09)
ISBN: 0761516743
EAN: 9780761516743
UPC: 086874516748
Dewy Decimal #: 305.235
Hardcover: 320 pages
Edition: 0
Release Date: 2001-08-07
SKU: H6582
Condition: As New
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Editorial Reviews
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Product Description
Being a kid today is starkly different from what it was a generation ago. In a society where children have more toys, more television, and more independence than ever before, we have left them dangerously empty inside. Children from elementary to high school are more likely to commit acts of violence, abuse drugs and alcohol, or engage in risky sexual behavior than their parents were, while test scores and academic performance have declined.
The self-esteem movement—the teaching and parenting panacea that was supposed to cure these social ills and create brilliant, healthy children—has fallen flat. By bending over backwards to make kids feel good about themselves, educators, the media and well-meaning parents have created a generation of hollow kids who lack the fundamental understanding of who they are and what they can accomplish. How did our society become obsessed with the feel-good curriculum—a practice that places making every child feel special above learning the basics of appropriate behavior? Why did it become wrong to hold kids to standards of learning in reading, writing, and arithmetic? What steps can we take to ensure our children grow up with a healthy self-acceptance? Hollow Kids has the answers.
Written by two highly respected psychologists, this ground-breaking book masterfully debunks the self-esteem myth with hard evidence and insightful observations. Drs. Laura L. Smith and Charles H. Elliot meticulously demonstrate the damage overinflated self-esteem can inflict on our children: narcissism, prompting aggression, violence, and delinquency; a distorted self image, leading to tattooing, piercing, bulimia, and anorexia; and a ceaseless quest to feel good, stimulating insatiable materialism, shoplifting, and substance abuse. An extreme example is that of the Columbine boys who killed themselves, their classmates, and a teacher. The notes they left behind showed that they harbored a shocking sense of superiority and self-absorption.
A clarion call to parents, educators, and child psychologists, this book clearly shows how to identify much of the ill that plagues today's youth and root it out. By parents reclaiming their position of authority and educators reestablishing a leadership role and lost standards of excellence, we can fill this generation and those to come with a healthy understanding of themselves and their society.
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Customer Reviews
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Rhetorical and Not Well Reasoned
Rating  (1)
Date: 2001-11-17
29 out of 45 customers found this reveiw helpful
What I found particularly disappointing is that although the authors claim to be presenting coherent and evidence-based arguments, I did not find this to be the case. Quite often the authors make considerable leaps of logic.In addition to finding the book poorly reasoned, I found the tone to be highly rhetorical and condescending; not to the reader, mind you, but to the ambiguous "self-esteem movement." For instance, they label proponents of self-esteem as "traffickers" of self-esteem. To give you a better picture of what I mean, I will quote a larger section and provide my commentary at the end of it. [Begin Quote: pp. 33-34] "[Nathaniel] Branden describes self-esteem as a fundamental human need....one can never have too much. Yet most of us recognize there is such a thing as conceit and arrogance....How, then, do self-esteem promoters rationalize this myth?...Branden [is committed] to the idea that self-esteem is an unqualified good. Branden has responded with a truly ingenious solution. In order to propose you never much too much self-esteem, Branden turns what most people call excessive self-esteem on its head. He has decided that a feeling of superiority over others, boastfulness, arrogance, and self-glorification all represent inadequate self-esteem "rather than, as some people imagine, too high self-esteem." If this seems illogical to you, it should. It is difficult to juxtapose boastfulness, arrogance, and self-glorification with Branden's description of low self-esteem, which includes lack of confidence, self-deprecation, and feelings of worthlessness....Logic aside, no research has supported this notion." [End Quote] First, in terms of tone, they preface their argument with the rhetorical and condescending language of how Branden (which the authors make clear is a major proponent of the self-esteem movement) "rationalize[s] the myth." That is, that self-esteem is an qualified good. Using a respectful tone, such disagreement could have been stated in more civil terms as Branden's "unsupported conclusion" or "inadequately reasoned argument." Second, the authors don't explain the logic of Branden's argument, which is how self-aggrandizing behaviour functions to protect or defend against feelings of low self-esteem. This explanation is central to the defensive self-esteem hypothesis, but the authors fail to mention it. Finally, contrary to the authors's claims, there is research demonstrating differences between narcissism (defensive self-esteem) and genuinely high self-esteem people. In other words, there is evidence that does support Branden's position. For a few references of this research: Johnson, E. A., Vincent, N., & Ross, L. (1997) Self-deception versus self-esteem in buffering the negative effects of failure. Journal of Research in Personality, 31, 385-405. Lobel, T. E., & Teiber, A. (1994). Effects of self-esteem and need for approval on affective and cognitive reactions: Defensive and true self-esteem. Personality and Individual Differences, 16, 315-321. Smalley, R. L., & Stake, J. E. (1996). Evaluating sources of ego-threatening feedback: Self-esteem and Narcissism Effect. Journal of Research in Personality, 30, 483-495. ----------- In sum, I found many sections that were problematic in terms of tone (i.e., lack of respectful dialogue), poorly reasoned arguments (i.e., considerable leaps of logic and unsupported claims), and misrepresentation of their opponent's position. As a recommendation, if you want to understand Branden's work, it is best to read him first-hand (for e.g., "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem") and arrive at your own conclusions. Another recommendation, if self-esteem really does interest you, a helpful book that summarizes theories and research in self-esteem is Christopher Mruk's (1999) "Self-Esteem: Theory, Research, and Practice."
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What could be wrong with self esteem?
Rating  (5)
Date: 2001-09-22
20 out of 23 customers found this reveiw helpful
Just one more teen bashing book, I thought as I started to read Hollow Kids. It didn't take long before I realized something much more profound was in the offing. Drs. Smith and Elliott convincingly demonstrate that our culture has bought some seriously misguided myths about self-esteem-specifically that more self-esteem is always better and that raising self-esteem will cure most anything that ails youth today. They further show that raising self-esteem has become a cultural mantra that has worked its way into school curriculums, psychology journals, and thousands of self-help books. The authors then provide a logical analysis backed up by hundreds of studies demonstrating that overly high, inflated self-esteem poses far more dangers than you would imagine. It appears that, although for decades everyone assumed low self-esteem caused aggression, eating disorders, and substance abuse, quite the opposite appears to be the case. You really have to read the book and review the authors' evidence. You'll never think about self-esteem in the same way again! Finally, I was delighted by their surprisingly useful solutions and advice for overcoming the problems they critique. Most such books fail miserably in the area of solutions; this one doesn't.
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A great book!!
Rating (5)
Date: 2001-08-28
12 out of 13 customers found this reveiw helpful
Hollow Kids opens with some very surprising statistics about self-esteem and how it has become infused in our culture and our collective psyches. The authors present these facts in a fast paced, hard hitting, yet entertaining way. I was amazed that with each new chapter, new information about a variety of topics was presented in the same interesting format. I would never have believed that overly high self-esteem could lead to problems such as violence, aggression, and even eating disorders. The authors' points are often rather counter-intuitive, but they back their assertions with compelling evidence and research in addition to their own clinical experiences. The chapters on education and parenting were fantastic. Hollow Kids goes further than most books critical of current cultural trends in that it provides surprisingly useful advice and solutions. Great book!
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Laying Blame on the Theories of Advancing Self-Esteem
Rating  (3)
Date: 2001-08-22
18 out of 25 customers found this reveiw helpful
The older generation is always very critical of the younger one, even though the older one did the parenting. Hollow Kids makes the indictment that young people in the U.S. are more self-absorbed than ever before, and lack values and the skills to accomplish their potential compared to their parents and the world at large. In surveys, teens report feeling pretty good about themselves, but are concerned about appearance and popularity. The key issue for them is whether to have sex or not. On the other hand, depression and other psychological issues are on the rise. Other problems relate to teen violence, addictions, and learning difficulties with basic skills. The book goes on to suggest changes that parents and educators should make to help young people develop more maturity, effectiveness, and obtain more lasting satisfactions from life. The authors are psychologists who draw on their own clinical experiences, research they have conducted and reviews of research done by others to support these points. The authors connect these observations about what's wrong to the popularity of a theory of boosting childhood self-esteem at home and in school, independent of a child's performance. "You're so special" is the cry, regardless of what lousy thing the child just did. Historically, this idea emerged from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, on the assumption that each person could fulfill higher needs by eliminating artificial barriers at school and at home. The theory as it developed argued for more self-esteem as the solution for almost every developmental issue. Positive thinking theories are also part of this movement. In contrast, the authors point out that many dysfunctional behaviors are related to already having way too much self-esteem (rapists are often such an example). While some problems are related to too little self-esteem, a better psychological choice is to be relatively self-aware in an accepting way. The authors' proposed model is to create a better life perspective and balance by encouraging the traits of forgiveness, gratitude, friendship and belonging, marriage, religion and spirituality, and self-control. The book's points begin with poignant case histories that will really grab your attention. One especially powerful one entailed a child who was marched through prepping at age three to make it into a competitive preschool. With continued parental pressure, he developed so much anxiety that he could not peform academically. He burned out on his academic career before reaching college. It's a sad and extreme story, and shows the problems with taking anything to an extreme. The French have a term, the "juste-milieu," which captures the idea of balance in everything. Americans often ignore that concept. Parents are often either overachieving and underachieving with their children, and the results show in the younger generation. I think that what we are dealing with has more to do with the ideals (or lack thereof) of Baby Boomer parents than any single psychological theory. As a result, I found this book overly focused on psychological theories. After all, there must be other factors holding back young people than simply the psychological theories that their parents and teachers subscribe to. The other factors did not get very much attention in the book. For example, obesity is a problem among children and that relates to poor eating habits in part. Until you change what you put in your mouth and how much you exercise, you cannot do much about obesity. That requires knowledge and parental support by buying and preparing better foods, and stimulating healthy exercise. Knowing a little about the problems of illiteracy from my work with adults who have this problem, the authors are too quick to assume that adding phonics would eliminate most reading problems. Phonics are great for some kids, but others would benefit more from other specialized approaches. I agree that we have a growing illiteracy problem in our schools, but the solution relates to a broader strategy of diagnosis and specialized teaching than it does to psychology alone. If you want to destroy someone's self-esteem and limit their life, however, just be sure they don't learn how to read well in school. Those who will get the most benefit from this book are parents and educators involved in assessing what the curriculum should be and how the curriculum should be conducted. Parents who are interested in having their children enjoy a better psychological balance will also find the research summaries in the book to be helpful. As the authors point out: Be concerned about the issues your child has, and provide a good example, encouragement, and assistance to deal with those issues. Encourage your child also to learn to help others. That's the best way for your child to help her- or himself in the long run! May all notice where they can improve, and take helpful actions to get the results that will do them, and those they care about, the most good.
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